Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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