Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
