yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
