im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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