billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
