You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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