Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
