i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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