five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
