Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
