Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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