btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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