My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
