Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Couch. On fire.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
