im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i believe in u and ur pee
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm really busy with my period
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