i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
