i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
