Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
