My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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