I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
