you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
