I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
