I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
