if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
