Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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