Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
