forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
