I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He did a backflip because drugs
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