So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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