Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
