Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
