U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
