One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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