My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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