We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have aggressive nipples.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize