I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
