like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
