he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
