I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
