I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
