I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
