I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
