Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize