We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
