So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
