I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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