he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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