fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
