His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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