Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
