he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
